Biscuits and Sausage Gravy

I had one accomplishment yesterday, and it was this:

Holy. Shit. Dinner.

Biscuits and Sausage Gravy.

Yinz, I fucking love biscuits and sausage gravy.  It is the best.  The trouble is, I live in a northern country, and biscuits are hard to come by.  Generally, they come out of fast food drive thru windows or Pillsbury's tubes, full of trans fats and other unsavory elements, the processed chemical shit storm of modern food science compressed into a little roll.  Gross.

The trouble is, I can't bake.  I think this blog and my other social media makes it clear that I like to cook, and I'm even good at it.  But baking?  Nyet.  For years I could bake one thing -- chocolate chip cookies -- and frankly, that did me.  I think I've mentioned my baking fails before here, actually.  

But the biscuits.  I needed biscuits!

I take no credit for the recipe.  You can find it here, on Friend Mark T's blog.  The thing is, even with this recipe, it took me half a dozen batches of biscuits to arrive at really good biscuits.  The first batch was literally inedible.  You'd think it wouldn't be so hard to follow the fucking directions, but you know, there it is -- I really can't bake.  But still, with every batch I made progress, thanks to Mark's help.  I'd send him some biscuit-related text message that ended in ":(" and he'd provide advice and comfort.  

So now I can bake two things.  I think that'll do me.

The last step was the sausage gravy, which turned out to be super simple.  I think the key is quality ingredients.  I got Parma sausage and Snowville Creamery whole milk -- don't skimp on this stuff, cause there's practically nothing in the recipe, and if you get some shitty Bob Evans sausage or whatever, you'll be able to tell.

Here's how you make an absolute shit-ton of sausage gravy.

1 lb of bulk sausage -- I favor Parma, but wherever you get it, make sure it's good quality and fresh.  (Probably you're supposed to use breakfast sausage, but I actually used mild Italian. Shrug.)

3 Tbl of butter

1/2 c of flour

5 cups of whole milk -- again, make sure it's good milk.  I like Snowville (it's local, non-homogonized, and from pasture-fed cows).

Brown the sausage in a skillet until it's cooked through and crumbly.  Set aside.

Over medium-low heat, add the butter and then whisk in the flour.  Let this roux cook until the butter-flour mix has turned a darker shade of gold.  Turn the heat to low, and then slowly pour in the milk, whisking all the time.  Once the roux has dissolved, you can turn the heat back up a little.  Add the sausage back in, stir, and allow to simmer gently, until the milk is thick like gravy.  

Voila, sausage gravy.  A crap load of it: like, enough for six people.  Or less people with lots of leftovers.  Pour it over Mark's biscuits.  (Leftover-wise, the gravy reheated just fine in the microwave the next day.  The biscuits I'd recommend popping into the [toaster] oven to reheat, so they don't get mushy.)

Oh, and if you're curious, the salad was some local cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, and red onion, mixed up with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, salt, and pepper.  Because, you know, health.  Health with your biscuits and sausage gravy.  Ahem.

I am way too proud of myself over these biscuits.